Don't Waste Your Life

So we settled down at the cafe after a simple dinner at the food court. It was one of the better food-court-bak-chor-mee's I had eaten though.

And how fitting that we should be served by a waiter who was mildly disabled, fully confident in his enthusiastic, dignified and attentive service. And how interesting that his service set the tone for our conversation as we both settled into our seats remarking how we could see the fullness of human dignity in him.

'Do we love someone for the qualities he has, or do we love the feeling they give us?'

'I think it's possible to fall in love with the feeling of falling in love. Maybe that's why some people go into serial relationships, one after another. They love the feeling of love, which is why they can jump around without much regard of who the lover is.'

'But if we love the feeling that the interactions give us, aren't we also loving a part of that person as well? After all, it is who he is that gives us the feeling embedded in the interaction.'

'Hmm. Maybe there isn't really a line between loving someone and loving the feeling he gives us. Perhaps it is a dance, because in a dance, the two flow in perfect synchrony. There are no boundaries between the leader and the follower, between the initiator and the responder, between one dancer and his partner. But that's in an ideal world. That's utopia.'

'Hmm..'

'And in a perfect world, we don't step on each others' toes when we dance.'

'So if we love someone for his qualities, what happens when those qualities change?'

'So the question is, how is a person defined? If we are not defined by our jobs, by our place in society, by relationships, by our families, what are we defined by?'

'Maybe there is a core at the centre of each person's being.'

'And is that changeable? Can it be defined? What is this core? Does it change when external things change? How do we describe it?'

'Hmm..'

'It is an important question, and a scary one too. Because if I can't answer that question, maybe it means I don't really know who I am.'

*pause* and we both stare at our coffee.

'So who are you?'

'I don't know. Who are you?'

'I don't know either. Perhaps at the core of our being is a desire for love and sacrifice, justice and mercy, faithfulness and grace. I think all of our lives' endeavours are channeled towards these things.'

'So at the core of our being, is a desire.'

'Perhaps.'

'Oh man. I love this conversation. It's so OHMMMM.'

'So do I.'
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