Before I forget
Some reflection thoughts that I have. Wanted to jot them down before I forget them.
I realised that when I am sad, if someone tells me 'cry it out ok. you need it. crying it out will make you feel better.', I often feel that at that moment, the tears just dam up. They don't come. I've often wondered why it is so because, after all, permission has been given to me to cry and I know I won't be judged.
As I reflected more, I realised that often, it is not thoughts themselves that make us cry. It is feelings. When we are told to let it all out and cry to our hearts' content, it makes us focus on the thought of trying to make ourselves cry and not on how we really feel at that moment. And when we focus on that thought, we lose touch with the horrible feelings that make us cry and hence the tears dam up.
So yes, crying does make someone feel better. But if you're trying to help someone going through grief to do that, telling him outright to cry isn't the best way to go about it. You'd do a much better job following that person's feelings and asking him questions about the feelings and not judging, allowing him to be as honest with himself as he can. That way, the pain will be surfaced and the tears will flow. And if you are a good comforter, he will feel better. :)
I realised that when I am sad, if someone tells me 'cry it out ok. you need it. crying it out will make you feel better.', I often feel that at that moment, the tears just dam up. They don't come. I've often wondered why it is so because, after all, permission has been given to me to cry and I know I won't be judged.
As I reflected more, I realised that often, it is not thoughts themselves that make us cry. It is feelings. When we are told to let it all out and cry to our hearts' content, it makes us focus on the thought of trying to make ourselves cry and not on how we really feel at that moment. And when we focus on that thought, we lose touch with the horrible feelings that make us cry and hence the tears dam up.
So yes, crying does make someone feel better. But if you're trying to help someone going through grief to do that, telling him outright to cry isn't the best way to go about it. You'd do a much better job following that person's feelings and asking him questions about the feelings and not judging, allowing him to be as honest with himself as he can. That way, the pain will be surfaced and the tears will flow. And if you are a good comforter, he will feel better. :)
0 comments:
Post a Comment