Don't Waste Your Life

Life's a journey - don't forget to unpack.

Where it all meets

Perhaps then, it is at the cross of Christ that we find what we crave for most deeply in this world. Love and sacrifice, justice and mercy, faithfulness and grace. It is at the cross of Christ that all these meet, and if we dig deep enough into the core of our being, we will find that these are the things we will live and die for. - Me

To you, my reader. :)

There, look on me, so that you may not praise me beyond what I am; there, believe me, not others, about myself; there, attend to me and see what I have been in myself, through myself. - St Augustine

What's it like?

Posted on 12:14 AM No Comments

I wonder, what is it like, to marry a dear daughter off to a foreign land?

To a man whom you are totally unable to communicate with because he only speaks English and you speak only Vietnamese?

What is it like, to see your daughter move permanently to a country you have never been to, but only heard about on the news and TV?

All of 28 years of working hard to bring her up, educating her, sending her to school, allowing her to learn English, which ironically enabled this relationship to even happen in the first place.

What is it like to see her move into a family whom you are unable to communicate with, and whom you will probably see again only in another 5 or 10 years time? I'm not even thinking of grandchildren yet.

I'm hoping my dad's speech in Vietnam that said 'we will definitely bless and love the couple with all we can.' and the extremely warm handshakes, pats-on-the-shoulders, and many many gifts will help. I hope the non-verbal can transcend the verbal barrier and communicate some reassurance.

What is it like?

I think there must be a lot of fear, and a lot of trust. Ironically, at its roots, this trust is not even about trusting your daughter or trusting the new in-laws. It's very much about trusting yourself. Why? Because you trust yourself to have had taught your daughter well, that she would have the right values to choose the right man.

I dreamt this in a very weird dream a couple of years ago. In this very weird dream, I was walking my dad to the carpark, and I said to him:'Dad, I'm marrying ABC next week.'
Dad replied in the calmest tone possible (especially after finding out his son was marrying in 7 days time) :"It's ok son. We have taught you the values that we think to be right. We trust your decision."

At this point in the dream, I nearly choked on my own saliva and died. But it's quite true, what my dad said in my dream. After a while, there's only so much you can control, beyond that, you just have to trust you taught your kid the right things, and that now is the time she chose her own path. And you pray like mad it's the right path.

Yup. So for now, that house in that little path in Ho Chi Minh City, will have one less laughter at the dinner table, and that HDB flat at AMK Ave 10 will have an one more.

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