An hour before 2008
It is an hour before the new year comes.
I am sitting in my room at home, and the only sound comes from my typing and the aircon blowing.
Parents are fast asleep on the sofa outside, they must be tired after a really hectic year. Brother's out at some pub which his Hwa Chong friends booked for the evening.
Here I am, revelling in one of my quirks. Ever since a couple of years ago, I have decided that as far as possible, I will spend NYE quietly and at home. There's too much hype out there. Each year comes and goes, some touting it to be better than the past one, but perhaps that would take place if each person chose to live his own life well.
It's all quiet, and as I look back on 2007, i thank God for the year that has past, not just the happiness of now, but the pains of some times earlier in the year. It has been a hectic year, but as with every other year, I feel I've grown again.
I think I've matured in many aspects of my life, and again taken on things that have challenged my capacity and my abilities. Sure, I was incredibly stretched at times, but without stretching our capacities don't increase.
I think as i reflect, this has been a year that I have found security. I think that's the one thing that marks the year. I think I am more at peace with myself than I have been at any point in time.
Some issues were ironed out in the Monday meetings with Edgar and James, while spending the 2nd half of the year at home instead of staying on campus has definitely changed things. It's the first time in the past 5 years that I am actually home every night. Seeing my parents for the way they put in their efforts for the family and for God has certainly touched me to want to be like them.. how they put it their absolute everything into the things they undertake. How they pray for me and my future partner every day. I have also come to accept that they are not perfect nor infallible. Reconciling that in my mind and heart has been one of the great breakthroughs in my relationship with them. I love them more than ever now.
I am glad for Ed and James and for the way they accept me and love me and pray for me, even in the really tough times.. and man have they seen me through some very tough ones. I am also so so so glad to know my enmeshed classmates. I have never laughed so hard, done so many stupid things, or shared so much of my life with a group of people. Most of all, I know that with you girls I am accepted, loved and esteemed. I love you girls.
And to the one who did the amazing disappearing act on me, I want to say that i still appreciate you deeply. Although those things are over, I'm glad we had the clear-things-up session at vivo rooftop that evening, and that things can be the way they are now.
And then there's my Source of Joy rediscovered and deepened. You don't know how much I appreciate you. Not very convenient to say too much here, so readers, ask me personally if you want to know more k?
It's been a good year. I've worked hard, and I would like to think I've made a difference.
As I look ahead, the coming year will be a challenging one. I guess the greatest transition will be moving into the working world as I graduate in may. Student life is done with, and it's time I go out to become a practitioner. Will pragmatism take precedence over ideals? Will dreams give way to the pace and pressure of the rat-race? I don't know. Perhaps in this coming year, I will deal with more lives than I have ever done. Not just in the work context, but also in my personal life. Perhaps I will begin to have more than my own life to handle.
It is time to be that tree. To build my roots deep to ground myself, to grow my trunk strong to withstand the winds, and to blossom my canopy to provide shelter.
I am sitting in my room at home, and the only sound comes from my typing and the aircon blowing.
Parents are fast asleep on the sofa outside, they must be tired after a really hectic year. Brother's out at some pub which his Hwa Chong friends booked for the evening.
Here I am, revelling in one of my quirks. Ever since a couple of years ago, I have decided that as far as possible, I will spend NYE quietly and at home. There's too much hype out there. Each year comes and goes, some touting it to be better than the past one, but perhaps that would take place if each person chose to live his own life well.
It's all quiet, and as I look back on 2007, i thank God for the year that has past, not just the happiness of now, but the pains of some times earlier in the year. It has been a hectic year, but as with every other year, I feel I've grown again.
I think I've matured in many aspects of my life, and again taken on things that have challenged my capacity and my abilities. Sure, I was incredibly stretched at times, but without stretching our capacities don't increase.
I think as i reflect, this has been a year that I have found security. I think that's the one thing that marks the year. I think I am more at peace with myself than I have been at any point in time.
Some issues were ironed out in the Monday meetings with Edgar and James, while spending the 2nd half of the year at home instead of staying on campus has definitely changed things. It's the first time in the past 5 years that I am actually home every night. Seeing my parents for the way they put in their efforts for the family and for God has certainly touched me to want to be like them.. how they put it their absolute everything into the things they undertake. How they pray for me and my future partner every day. I have also come to accept that they are not perfect nor infallible. Reconciling that in my mind and heart has been one of the great breakthroughs in my relationship with them. I love them more than ever now.
I am glad for Ed and James and for the way they accept me and love me and pray for me, even in the really tough times.. and man have they seen me through some very tough ones. I am also so so so glad to know my enmeshed classmates. I have never laughed so hard, done so many stupid things, or shared so much of my life with a group of people. Most of all, I know that with you girls I am accepted, loved and esteemed. I love you girls.
And to the one who did the amazing disappearing act on me, I want to say that i still appreciate you deeply. Although those things are over, I'm glad we had the clear-things-up session at vivo rooftop that evening, and that things can be the way they are now.
And then there's my Source of Joy rediscovered and deepened. You don't know how much I appreciate you. Not very convenient to say too much here, so readers, ask me personally if you want to know more k?
It's been a good year. I've worked hard, and I would like to think I've made a difference.
As I look ahead, the coming year will be a challenging one. I guess the greatest transition will be moving into the working world as I graduate in may. Student life is done with, and it's time I go out to become a practitioner. Will pragmatism take precedence over ideals? Will dreams give way to the pace and pressure of the rat-race? I don't know. Perhaps in this coming year, I will deal with more lives than I have ever done. Not just in the work context, but also in my personal life. Perhaps I will begin to have more than my own life to handle.
It is time to be that tree. To build my roots deep to ground myself, to grow my trunk strong to withstand the winds, and to blossom my canopy to provide shelter.
Oh Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations. . . establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!
Psalm 90, A prayer of Moses, the man of God.
Psalm 90, A prayer of Moses, the man of God.
0 comments:
Post a Comment