Be a man! Do the right thing! - Russell Peters (Further thoughts In the Making)
girl:
haaaa
girl:
actually deep down
girl:
i think many girls want to be 小女人 one
Liren - desai's notes are as hard to digest as an indian curry says:
:)
girl:
find a guy whom they can lean on, who supports them
girl:
and love them
Liren - desai's notes are as hard to digest as an indian curry says:
yea
Liren - desai's notes are as hard to digest as an indian curry says:
and guys want to be able to provide and to be strong for the lady he loves
girl:
*agrees strongly*
Liren - desai's notes are as hard to digest as an indian curry says:
and be respected and dignified and acknowledged and validated by her
girl:
yessssssss
Liren - desai's notes are as hard to digest as an indian curry says:
ya loh
girl:
is that true for u?
Liren - desai's notes are as hard to digest as an indian curry says:
yes it is
I think it's sth that develops as ppl grow
and become more aware and more congruent with themselves
then u realise
u want to b validated as a man who lives his life well
but that validation cannot come from another man or a brother in Christ
or from the world and its certificates and goods
it is validated when someone u hold close to ur heart is happy because u choose to live ur life well
and properly
________________________________________________
Ok. I think this way of presenting the text makes it easier to read. :)
Was initially kinda afraid after I put on that post that some ppl will criticise me for being a Male Chauvinist. After all, I have been judged as such and ostracised before. So that made me kinda apprehensive.
But surprisingly, I received several comments from people who said they thought it was a sweet passage of words and that they enjoyed it. Interesting.
As I think about it, I would like to contrast those words of mine with what I deem to be a male chauvinist. I think MCPs in general, like to assert their 'manhood' in order to control the other gender in order to boost their own ego. So an MCP will not be much bothered about how his actions are viewed, or how they influence others. The entire focus, though they may not know or be aware of this, is their own ego.
I think what I wrote here, besides it being a part of my own thoughts about manhood, is something most men would agree with. There is a gentle strength about it, that in choosing to live our lives properly (which takes a huge amount of strength, by the way), we are showing our love and care to those whom we care most about. That at the end of the day, it is their happiness that we seek out of the overflow of our own. And that, my friend, is tenderness.
I think just like how every healthy family needs boundaries and flexibility, every healthy person needs determined strength and purposeful tenderness. This applies both to the ladies and the men.
Dee dee and I were talking about this, and she mentioned that she agrees too that many girls do in fact want to be 小女人, but it is often that the guy himself does not offer enough security in the relationship for the girl to do that.
And I thought about it, what is it about a man that will give a lady that security?
Is it not determined strength and purposeful tenderness? That in the toughest of times, he can be trusted to stand rooted and not blown about by every wind of idea and doctrine and the hurricanes of the world. But the strongest tree is of no value, if it does not give shelter to those who come and seek it, if it does not enfold those who run there into the arms of its strength. Its very purpose in standing strong, is to be the shelter that others can run into, especially the one who he holds dearest to his heart.
And yet, often we forget that. We are told to achieve for ourselves, we are told to strive hard for our own good, to be strong and survive in the ruthlessness of this world. Now, that's a pretty valueless tree.
haaaa
girl:
actually deep down
girl:
i think many girls want to be 小女人 one
Liren - desai's notes are as hard to digest as an indian curry says:
:)
girl:
find a guy whom they can lean on, who supports them
girl:
and love them
Liren - desai's notes are as hard to digest as an indian curry says:
yea
Liren - desai's notes are as hard to digest as an indian curry says:
and guys want to be able to provide and to be strong for the lady he loves
girl:
*agrees strongly*
Liren - desai's notes are as hard to digest as an indian curry says:
and be respected and dignified and acknowledged and validated by her
girl:
yessssssss
Liren - desai's notes are as hard to digest as an indian curry says:
ya loh
girl:
is that true for u?
Liren - desai's notes are as hard to digest as an indian curry says:
yes it is
I think it's sth that develops as ppl grow
and become more aware and more congruent with themselves
then u realise
u want to b validated as a man who lives his life well
but that validation cannot come from another man or a brother in Christ
or from the world and its certificates and goods
it is validated when someone u hold close to ur heart is happy because u choose to live ur life well
and properly
________________________________________________
Ok. I think this way of presenting the text makes it easier to read. :)
Was initially kinda afraid after I put on that post that some ppl will criticise me for being a Male Chauvinist. After all, I have been judged as such and ostracised before. So that made me kinda apprehensive.
But surprisingly, I received several comments from people who said they thought it was a sweet passage of words and that they enjoyed it. Interesting.
As I think about it, I would like to contrast those words of mine with what I deem to be a male chauvinist. I think MCPs in general, like to assert their 'manhood' in order to control the other gender in order to boost their own ego. So an MCP will not be much bothered about how his actions are viewed, or how they influence others. The entire focus, though they may not know or be aware of this, is their own ego.
I think what I wrote here, besides it being a part of my own thoughts about manhood, is something most men would agree with. There is a gentle strength about it, that in choosing to live our lives properly (which takes a huge amount of strength, by the way), we are showing our love and care to those whom we care most about. That at the end of the day, it is their happiness that we seek out of the overflow of our own. And that, my friend, is tenderness.
I think just like how every healthy family needs boundaries and flexibility, every healthy person needs determined strength and purposeful tenderness. This applies both to the ladies and the men.
Dee dee and I were talking about this, and she mentioned that she agrees too that many girls do in fact want to be 小女人, but it is often that the guy himself does not offer enough security in the relationship for the girl to do that.
And I thought about it, what is it about a man that will give a lady that security?
Is it not determined strength and purposeful tenderness? That in the toughest of times, he can be trusted to stand rooted and not blown about by every wind of idea and doctrine and the hurricanes of the world. But the strongest tree is of no value, if it does not give shelter to those who come and seek it, if it does not enfold those who run there into the arms of its strength. Its very purpose in standing strong, is to be the shelter that others can run into, especially the one who he holds dearest to his heart.
And yet, often we forget that. We are told to achieve for ourselves, we are told to strive hard for our own good, to be strong and survive in the ruthlessness of this world. Now, that's a pretty valueless tree.
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